Yesterday while driving to work I listened to Chip Ingram message, "Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships - Wake Up World! There's a Better Way to do Relationships! Part 2". There are men of God that can make you stop and pay attention to certain subjects and when it comes to relationships, love, sex Chip Ingram has a way to teach you, convict you but in the end makes you sit back and make you realize that yes, God's way is the BEST way. In today's world this teaching will make many people shake their head and say, "This is so out of date" or "Here we go...another Jesus Freak trying to tell me how to live my life and these so called "Christians" lives are just as messed up.
What I like about Chip is that he breaks the myth of Followers of Christ: we are human, we make mistakes throughout our lives. This wonderful series, "Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships" is a radical teaching that let's you know God has never kept sex from us but is saving it for us because God knows the power of love and the power of sex.
Here is the link to check out ""{Part 1 & 2} and the cool thing is that Chip has an entire series in regards to relationship via podcast. I have subscribed to this podcasts and I hope you get a chance check it out.
Great Messages From Chip Ingram
Reflections From Today's Devotion & Passage
Reflections from today's
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photo from
I really like this devotion because it truly speaks the truth when it comes to Followers of Christ, we are "deep thinkers". It's funny how the secular world thinks that Christians are some "mindless zombies" that fall for anything where it's really the opposite. When you study God's word, pray to God, listen to God(yes, I said listen because sometimes we talk and talk and not take time to hear God's response, His guidance for our lives) listen to great teachings of God's word we realize what the world is truly made of and we can move with ease of mind.
One thing is what today's devotional makes clear, it gives us clear discernment when it comes to people actions: how non-Christians respond to issues in their lives, how they interact with people. These past two days has been a eye-opening experience for me because I have not been viewing my current job that way. At first I thought it was just the fact that I would be away from my job for the next five days that was bringing me joy and it was making the hours go by smoother but it wasn't because if it was I would have been more anxious and more tense but it has been the Holy Spirit giving me peace, having me realize that when people get upset, when people do not listen they are so wrapped up in their own lives that they are not thinking of someone else feelings. When you are a "Thinking Christian" you view yourself as a servant of God and you look for Him for peace, for words of wisdom, to think before you speak. Yesterday instead of saying mean things under my breath I began saying, "Thank you Jesus" and "Lord, Bless Them" and I really get what the latter means because when you say it from the heart you can do nothing but smile and laugh. God knows I need this job because I have small things I have to take care of: you know like paying bills, providing a roof over me and Mrs. head...stuff like that. (come on people, it's okay to laugh, God gave us laughter.)
When you are a Thinking Christian you know we live in a falling world caused by the "First Adam". You begin to realize that you do not make excuses for someone rude, deliberate actions but you understand why they do it because of the hurt they are going through, the lack of training they may have received as a child, how many times we have been taught that the world revolves around "us" and the heck with anyone else. When being a Follower of Christ you begin to think of working for God and not your manager, not your team lead and your day goes smoother.
You will have rough patches some days but you get the mind frame that you are there to shine for Him and not for yourself...when you shine for Jesus Christ everything that you deserve truly falls into place...it may not happen overnight but it will come. Now does that mean that you stay at a job no matter what the conditions are? No. But when you finally move on from that "tent" to another(sometimes you have to think of your job{not your occupation}as a tent because sometimes we get wrapped up in the moment and that can be frustrating)you would have passed that "test" and when heading to another job you will not have to go through it again because believe me God will have you go through it again until have that, "Oh, I get it! Thank you Jesus" moment.
Yes being a Thinking Christians and working for Christ Jesus truly has its rewards...now that is true "Trickle Down Economics" that works.
Be Blessed, Be Safe,
& Have a Wonderful Thursday
~DarrenKeith
Helping You Cope With A Job You Need For Now
One thing about God is when you truly seek Him...His way, His word it comes to you and all you can say is, "Wow!" Yesterday on my daily walk I was hoping to find a way to a way to really not dreading to go to work because of the job I have at the moment. I try not to complain in regards to my occupation, but it is a job and I know that is not my final vocation, I know I have to pay bills, keep a roof over me and Mrs head...I know I'm only there for 8 hours a day and not 10-12 hours a day but to deal with people day in and day out that make something simple as to setting up a reservation drives me crazy at times.
I know when you complain it makes the day longer, it wreaks havoc on your spirit, physical, and mental being but still it makes me angry from time to time. So imagine my surprise when hearing these two-part message from Dr. Charles Stanley, "How to Ge the Most out of Your Work". It hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm glad to hear these messages because if I kept complaining soon it will reflect in my work, how I feel toward people in general and in the end it will only hurt one person...myself. Some things have helped me cope with what I do like and I hope they will help you and in the process it's helping me as I write these pointers.
a) Don't look at your day of work as the "Entire Day" but just the hours you are there.
I began the mind set of only being there "8 hours a day" instead of a all day event because lets be honest, we are not there all day. Now I know some people may work 10 or even 12 hours a day but begin looking at it that way it may take the weight off your shoulders just a little bit and may change your attitude toward each day.
b) Break Your Day up in 4 quarters.
This has really helped throughout my day. I map it out now as: 2 hours before break/2hours before lunch/2hours before last break/2hours before heading home for the day. When I think of work in small increments it helps my mindset because of me thinking, "I have 8 hours of dealing with this mess" it helps me realize that I will have a time to "rest" even if it is only 10 minutes (lets be honest...if you work in a call center a 15 minute break is not a 15 minute break because once you walk from your desk, go use the restroom, go find a place to rest your mind 5minutes have past already) By you thinking of smaller portions it helps me deal with what I have to deal with day and day out.
c) When You Have a Break or a 30 minute lunch find a place that is quiet to rest your mind.
It's amazing how when sitting at a desk and hearing complaints after complaints how it drains you not only mentally but physically. I like to get somewhere by myself and not hear another voice. The only voices I wish to hear is God's voice, my beautiful wife or my geek brother or a positive message but many times I will go somewhere to rest my mind, my thoughts. I've found out when I do this I get rejuvenated, it helps me get a new game plan for the second half of my work day.
d) Get enough REST!!!
I am truly realizing that when I get proper rest I get up refreshed, well rested. I'm learning that when it's time for me to go to bed I go to bed. I'm learning that when I focus on my body, taking care of my health it helps me feel much different when I am sitting at my d
e) Get A Marine Mind Set.
Everyone that know me that I love NCIS and I have learned some things from Mark Harmon's character and one thing I have learned is this: either follow orders or retire. If you get to a point where what I have suggested you cannot use to help your job day in and day out it's time to move on find something else(and keep this in mind, it's better to find a job when you have a job than when you DO NOT have a job). Now I know there are times when you have to leave because of a situation where you know you can't take it anymore but for the most part hang in there because in the end it is teaching you how to treat the person that works in customer service because they really do have a tough job. Now I know there are some businesses where customer service is lousy but what I have learned that when I have had a bad experience to start off by having the mindset and let the person know, "This is not aimed toward you ma'am/sir but here is my issue with the company" and I am learning that the best way to let a company know you are not satisfied with their business is to vote with your wallet and now with the web voice your opinion via social networking.
I hope this helps you when dealing with your job and I ask you is to pray for me to remember what I have shared with you because it's sometimes easy share wisdom but when you are going through it yourself sometimes reasoning flies out the window but I am learning I will always be a work in process but I also have to learn I have to be a example not only for my readers but for the love in my life and most important Christ Jesus
Be Blessed, Be Safe,
& Have a Wonderful Weekend
~DarrenKeith
The five Principles that Dr. Stanley Shares in his 2-part message "How to Get the Most out of Your Work"(I have links to the messages...I'm burning them to a CD and play it from here on when heading to work everyday)
{right click here}
{right click here}
5 Ways To Get The Most Out of Our Work
[Coming from ]
1. When We View Ourselves As Servants
2. I am to work as For The Lord
3. To View Christ as Our Authority
4. See Other People as Worthy Persons
5. We are to View our Rewards "Present" and "Future"
o4Sept09MLFM:InspirationSounds Edition
(inspired by this & )
The cool thing about putting these podcast together is that it makes me reflect on how blessed I am in regards to think about what I am or what I have gone through...even though I may want to gripe and complain about what my job puts me through, how cruel some people can be, the coldness of some people heart that makes me want to not deal with the outside world I can hear a passage from the Bible, read a devotion, chat with my online buddies I know I am not alone and even if I could not do that knowing the goodness of my Lord and Savior always gets me through my rough times.
It's amazing how you can hear lyrics or a melody and it can lift you out of a funk...it can make you smile, cry tears of joy, dance like you never danced before because at the end of the day you realize that it can really be worse. I'm a work in progress and I am learning that my work day is an 8 hour day and in the end I'm asking God to help me focus on just those 8 hours and not let 8 hours rob me of my joy and peace for the other 16 hours of my day because I have a wonderful wife, my freedom, God's word and the tools to be able to produce these in the comfort of my own home...for me that is something to be a smile to my face.
I hope these 15 tracks reflect on the goodness of Christ and to pay attention to what you have, who you have in your life and as Zig Ziglar says, "Every day is a great day...if you don't think so you just missing one of them."
Be Blessed/Be Safe &
Have a Wonderful Day
~DarrenKeith
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White Conservatives Have Lost Their Minds
I'm done with the Republican Party...I'm not a Republican, never could be one but this latest "outcry" in regards to President Obama speech has angered The Right is just plain...stupid. I only caught a snippet on the news the other night that people(I have recently now have seen the entire coverage on the networks), the Conservatives are upset because they feel he is pushing his (the President's) political views on their children.
Is he talking about accepting homosexuality or saying it's okay for sex outside of marriage or even "euthanizing the old"? No...he's talking about being responsible when it comes to their education. I have always thought corporate America never wanted people to better themselves and this just proves it...let me explain.
I have always believed that many companies do not want workers to better themselves when it comes to education. Why? Because this means higher wages, people loving themselves and realizing that their are better than having just a mediocre life in regards to living expensive, lifestyles, in providing a better life for their spouse, their children. Corporate America does not want people to become financial savvy with their income. Corporate America wants the average worker to come to work, become overweight from sitting at their desk all day, gossip, get their party on, get their drink on, get into debt because this way the average worker knows if this cycle is repeated over and over again people will have to stay in dead-end jobs. Corporate America wants the average worker to have sex outside of marriage so when you have upten children again you are stuck at a dead end job.
No one made a fuss when President Bush or President Regan did the same thing. What is going on with The Right? I know what's going on and no wants to say it but I will...it's more than "politics" it's the fact that many White conservative are still steamed that they have to answer to an African-American (oh...did I mention that his mother was white? That means his bi-racial). There are some families that may keep their children out of school if President Obama's speech is played in school.
They will never admit but what they(White Conservatives) are really teaching their children is this, "it's okay to watch them play sports, perform Gansta rap(and correct me if I'm wrong but who purchases most of the Gansta Rap...and is that still around...White America which the majority of them come from Conservative homes), they can cook for you, clean your homes but when it comes to telling you to have respect for your fellow man, become responsible for your own actions don't listen.
Maybe we as Blacks are The and I just don't know it. Did we invade this country, rape, murder, throw The Christian Right into slave camps? And I hate to burst the Conservative bubble but many African-American have always have Christian values but to listen to the Fox network and the rest of the Right Wing Party you would think President Obama is throwing the baby out with the bath water. If parents keep their children out of school in regards to President Obama this really should prove to African-Americans how indeed your hatred toward African-American. You can hide behind the "He's forcing his political views on my child" all you want but in the end it is what it is...you still can't accept us as an equal.
We(African-Americans) are doctors, lawyers, CEO's of major companies, scientists, educators, and yes now we have a leader over the White House...Get over yourselves.
My Thoughts on Miss California Losing Her Title
I don't know if former Miss California USA is a believer but this I do know, if you go against the world values you better have all of your ducks in a row. One thing I have learned in today's news is that every rock will be turned over when you are in the public eye so it's best to come clean about everything if you want that lifestyle. Did she not think about the topless photo of her would not come to light? Did she not think that it would not come out that confirm that they[Miss California pageant officials] paid for Prejean’s breast-enhancement surgery? Should that make a difference? In the world's eyes "No." But if you are Follower of Christ..."Yes".
We are not perfect(Followers of Jesus Christ)...never have been...never will be. Heck I know I will make mistakes sometimes today because we all have a fallen nature but what disturbs me are two factors that are growing more and more.
The first is the fact that our youth don't think twice about their actions. When i was coming up if you screwed up you could move to another town or if you have said something that you later regret it would take ions for it to catch up with you...not today. You can take a racy photo in the morning and within a day or two it can be plastered over the web. We can be photographed by cell phones (I myself have began taking pictures of landscapes with my BlackBerry and I have to admit, the photos are not bad). I can't really blame the youth or get angry at them because it is up to the parents to instill in them value. It's up to them(parents) to tell them that your decisions, your actions today...especially in this technology world can cost you big time down the road.
They have watched too many high profile people in the world, whether it has been a sports announcer (remember the incident with Marv Albert), with Robert Downey Jr. and his in and out of rehab, with Kobe Bryant incident in Colorado and after a while it is all but forgotten. Let's not forget about business corruptions, I mean people listen to former Governor , and others who worked in law enforcement and have manipulated the law and now are listened to by thousands or even millions of people in regards to their views and judgements of others and not blink tells me that if parents do not instill in them moral values it's going to get worse before it gets better.
The second thing that really disturbs me are Christians. Me being a believer myself I heard something Dr. Charles Stanley say a couple of years ago and I try to follow this principle:
it's a difference between "a Follower of Jesus Christ" and a "Christian"
I am so amazed how many people say they are a Christian and continue to believe in things that the Bible surely teaches against: from having children out of wedlock, to homosexuality, living together and not married but can come out and put someone else on "Full Blast" From Governor Sarah Palin to Dr. James Dobson...it amazes me that many who are believers in God and yet can look over their faults and their family faults and make comments about others. It amazes me how the Christian community can circle the wagons around former Miss California and not really find out about her past. Should the church hold that against her...No.
But in the world this is why many people do not come to Christ because we beat people down but at the same time we don't live by Christ teachings. She [Carrie Prejean] could have a stronger leg to stand on if she did not have skeletons in her closet. I don't care for Perez Hilton but don't give him ammunition to take you down and that is what happened to her What really makes me nervous is that the "Christian" community will get behind her and brush over the fact of the mistakes she has made and not hold her accountable for her actions. I'm afraid my Brothers and Sisters in Christ will claim she was attacked because of her beliefs but I ask, what is her beliefs? They will try to brush over the fact that she posed topless and say, "she didn't know any better because of her age (she says she was 17 at the time of the photos) they will brush over the fact of her breast enlargement when Christ teaches us that our body is our temple and a "pimp my body" type of deal.
I hope I'm wrong and this post will be another, "rant' but I have a strong feeling I may not be wrong...we will see.
Love&Honest Letter To My Beautiful Black Sistas
{inspired by 's discussion with Doctor REALove}
I am so happy and blessed that I'm married...I really am. This is a post I've been thinking about this since downloading and listening to his his "" show. What started off as a question from a young man asking about which direction he should allow his interracial relation to take because of the looks and reactions he's receiving from some Black women and how he feels that when he was single no Black woman in his area would "give him the time of day" spiraled into a heart to heart discussion between Fave and Doctor REALove. It hit home for me, not because of the fact that I have been in a interracial relationship (and not to say at one time or another I haven't tried, I guess I frightened women because of my height and weight, who knows) but what Fave said really hit home for me when it comes some of my sistas in the workplace and how many times they will not speak, make eye contact with many Black men.
Let me say this is not ALL of my beautiful black women but I'm not going to lie, I have witnessed it time and time again when it comes to myself in my workplace today. I am so glad I am not single in this day and time because God forbid if anything would happen to my beautiful queen I think I would go into the priesthood (and I'm not even Catholic). I'm at a age now where at one end of the spectrum it makes me angry and on the other end I can do nothing but laugh when it comes to my beautiful sistas not wanting to say "hello" when passing me in the hallway, not making eye contact, not smiling...I just do not get it. What has we as Black men done to you(Black women) to make you act as if you just spoke we would try and jump your bones right there on the job. I can see if you were walking down the street or if you were in a bad neighbourhood or in a club but you are in the workplace. I have come to a place in my life where now I deliberatly sometimes look and smile at my Black sistas to see if they will make eye contact and just speak and to be honest 8 out of 10 times they will not make any type of jester to speak.
Now I'm a realist and I know some of us brothas are knuckleheads, some of us will try and hump anything with a hole. I know some of us have turned out to be real dawgs and many times my brothas are little boys inside grown men bodies. We sometime want to blame every Black woman for our downfall and in many cases we need to look inwardly...we need to look in the mirror and have a serious conversation with ourselves and ask, "what can I do to make myself a better person, a better man, a better Black man?" I was brought up by a single mom and coming up I did not have not one girlfriend growing up...NOT ONE!!! I tried, believe me I did and time and time again I was shot down but as I grew older and I look back I wasn't really ready for the opposite sex. I know if I would have had my way I would have had upten babies and probably living with my mom sleeping in that same little bed with the poster of Tony Dorsett on the wall.
{that's a lie. I hated the Cowboys so it would have been a poster of Franco Harris on the wall...but anyhow...}
I know some of us Black men have left a bad taste in out Black women mouths but you can not throw out the baby with the bath water. We all are not lepers, we are all not "no-good bastards". Many of us may not the corporate jobs but we work hard, put up with nonsense in the white and blue collar workforce just like you do. What I really loved the conversation between Fave and Doctor REALove was how open and honest she was about having date a White man and how Fave was honest when he dated outside his race...about how he went through the same dilemma the young man was going through and I feel both of them. If a person wished to date outside their race because of "love" so be it but they have to realize what they will face for a lifetime.
All relationships are work...yes work! And to date outside your race that is another culture class because let's be honest dating the opposite sex in my book is "opposite" enough so imagine when you bring someone into your life that is of a different culture. I also feel what DoctorREALove said when saying when you date outside your race because you think one race is better than another that is a problem. That person really, in my opinion does not love themselves and need to take a long, hard look at themselves before bringing someone in their lives.
I think what hurts me when seeing this behavior with some Black women (I have to keep stressing that because I know it's not all of my beautiful sistas) is how cozy they are with White men and will walk right past and not even speak to a brother. I just turned 44 and to me it's like in some ways we are going backwards and not forward. Just last night a sista received a note on her desk...a young man left his number and ask her to "text him". Some of the things she said I understood...she said, "Whoever it was needs to say something face to face...I'm not into playing games." I nodded my head in agreement; but when my sista said, "and besides, I don't date dark men...only light complexion guys." That was a quick, horrific flashback for me circa 1970s and I'm hoping we are not going back to that day and time. Now, she has every right to date only light complextion brothas because as she puts it, "I've only gotten along with light dudes" but at the same time that kind of stings because I went through that coming up because I'm a brown complexion dude and to here that took me back to the days of seeing groups like Switch, The Debarges(wait...they are from the 80s right? anyhow...) I couldn't do anything but shake my head.
To my beautiful sistas out there, I just ask one thing of you...when you see a Brotha in the hallway of your workplace at least speak. I know you have had it hard, I know at times you have been treated badly but sometimes we as people have to be honest with ourselves and say with some of those "losers" I hooked up with, "Did I ignore the warning signs when dating this person?" One thing I know that I know in my 44 years on this earth, God has given women the "golden touch" when it comes to judgment but I'm afraid many times you are lead by your heart and not your head. If your inner voice (I don't care what anyone says, it's the Holy Spirit) is telling you that hey walk away from that person....DO IT!!! If a man, while you are dating insults you on purpose privately or in public...LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! It's not going to get better. If a man puts his hands on your ONCE...leave him alone. You cannot love someone if they do not love themselves.
Okay, that's my rant...I'm getting off my soapbox. I love you my sistas but as the one brother said in "Dairy of a Mad Black Woman" said, "Don't make me pay for the mistakes of how you were treated in past relationships" It's a drain on you and the person that is trying to treat you the way you needed to be treated...like a queen.
{if you have not listened to Fave's podcast it is a MUST!!! Thank you again Fave and DoctorREALove for this insight show}